LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell
March 25th, 2003, 12:08 PM
This guy posts all the time on KNAC.com and can be quite articulate when he wants to be.
Death_Chronicle - 3/25/2003 10:33:02 AM
I swear an oath on my honor as a hypocrite that... I will cuss cows but eat beef; blast miners but wear jewelry, and drive a car but condemn oil companies. I do not want trees cut for any purpose other than to provide the lumber for my next house. As a self righteous hypocrite, I assert my God given right to sire at least four children by three different wives and then protest about overpopulation in the world. I will put fish first by saving the sucker and salmon, but not the farmers and ranchers who feed me. I demand that politicians and federal judges in Washington, DC, save all endangered species, except the small businessman. I feel that government is imminently qualified to micromanage nature. After all, look at the smashing job they have done with the IRS, EPA, USDA, FBI, BLM, FDA, and assorted other alphabet agencies. As a double standarded a-hole, it is my duty to celebrate Earth Day with barbecues and parades, and by leaving tons of trash behind. I demand that feedlots and farms stop polluting our ground water. That privilege should be preserved for me every time I flush the contents of my toilet into a septic tank or the ocean. I want to relocate grizzly bears and wolves to the West but not in my big city backyard. After all, people live here! I give my permission for mountains lions to eat lambs, but if a lion eats my dog or cat, I demand the abominable beast be shot on sight. I will cuss oil companies on talk radio and stand in the way of their drilling more wells, while I am sitting in my gas guzzling SUV with the engine running. I will write letters to the editor on my computer, as I castigate utility companies for not providing enough electricity. At the same time, I will send money to green groups who want to tear down hydroelectric dams and stand in the way of any new power producing projects. I avow that, at the next cocktail party I attend while I am smoking a cigarette and sipping a martini, I will sue the tobacco companies for causing my lung cancer. Although I have never personally milked a cow or grown vegetables in a garden, I demand to have a say on how farmers and ranchers do it. As a pompous hypocrite, I demand that water, herbicides, and pesticides be taken away from farmers immediately, but I do not want it to effect the price, quantity, nor quality of the food I buy in the store. It is my strongly held conviction that we should ban all pesticides, except the can of bug spray I use to kill ants and other unwanted bugs in my home. As a mealy-mouthed hypocrite, I vow to help stop global warming by watching the Discovery Channel on my giant-sized television in my air-conditioned house. I assert that cattle pooping on our nation's grasslands is a national disgrace; however, I fertilize my urban lawn with steer manure and urea because it is simply good ecology. I will complain about fertilizer runoff from farms but not from golf courses, because I happen to be a golfer. I will hound hunters in the woods because they use guns, despite the fact that habitat and wildlife numbers have increased. I demand that the government end all timber cutting or recovery in our national forests, but I will cry like a singed coyote if the feds allow wildfires to burn near my house. As a card-carrying hypocrite, I disavow the use of fur, leather, wool, and all animal byproducts, except the ones used in medicines to save my life. I demand labels be placed on all food products but not on a rock album that endorses killing cops. Finally, as an arrogant and self-serving hypocrite, I firmly believe that rural folks have done a terrible job of taking care of the countryside. They must do a better job because that's where I want to live or visit the day when I escape the pollution, crime, and insanity of the barren big city in which I currently reside.
Scott:d:
Death_Chronicle - 3/25/2003 10:33:02 AM
I swear an oath on my honor as a hypocrite that... I will cuss cows but eat beef; blast miners but wear jewelry, and drive a car but condemn oil companies. I do not want trees cut for any purpose other than to provide the lumber for my next house. As a self righteous hypocrite, I assert my God given right to sire at least four children by three different wives and then protest about overpopulation in the world. I will put fish first by saving the sucker and salmon, but not the farmers and ranchers who feed me. I demand that politicians and federal judges in Washington, DC, save all endangered species, except the small businessman. I feel that government is imminently qualified to micromanage nature. After all, look at the smashing job they have done with the IRS, EPA, USDA, FBI, BLM, FDA, and assorted other alphabet agencies. As a double standarded a-hole, it is my duty to celebrate Earth Day with barbecues and parades, and by leaving tons of trash behind. I demand that feedlots and farms stop polluting our ground water. That privilege should be preserved for me every time I flush the contents of my toilet into a septic tank or the ocean. I want to relocate grizzly bears and wolves to the West but not in my big city backyard. After all, people live here! I give my permission for mountains lions to eat lambs, but if a lion eats my dog or cat, I demand the abominable beast be shot on sight. I will cuss oil companies on talk radio and stand in the way of their drilling more wells, while I am sitting in my gas guzzling SUV with the engine running. I will write letters to the editor on my computer, as I castigate utility companies for not providing enough electricity. At the same time, I will send money to green groups who want to tear down hydroelectric dams and stand in the way of any new power producing projects. I avow that, at the next cocktail party I attend while I am smoking a cigarette and sipping a martini, I will sue the tobacco companies for causing my lung cancer. Although I have never personally milked a cow or grown vegetables in a garden, I demand to have a say on how farmers and ranchers do it. As a pompous hypocrite, I demand that water, herbicides, and pesticides be taken away from farmers immediately, but I do not want it to effect the price, quantity, nor quality of the food I buy in the store. It is my strongly held conviction that we should ban all pesticides, except the can of bug spray I use to kill ants and other unwanted bugs in my home. As a mealy-mouthed hypocrite, I vow to help stop global warming by watching the Discovery Channel on my giant-sized television in my air-conditioned house. I assert that cattle pooping on our nation's grasslands is a national disgrace; however, I fertilize my urban lawn with steer manure and urea because it is simply good ecology. I will complain about fertilizer runoff from farms but not from golf courses, because I happen to be a golfer. I will hound hunters in the woods because they use guns, despite the fact that habitat and wildlife numbers have increased. I demand that the government end all timber cutting or recovery in our national forests, but I will cry like a singed coyote if the feds allow wildfires to burn near my house. As a card-carrying hypocrite, I disavow the use of fur, leather, wool, and all animal byproducts, except the ones used in medicines to save my life. I demand labels be placed on all food products but not on a rock album that endorses killing cops. Finally, as an arrogant and self-serving hypocrite, I firmly believe that rural folks have done a terrible job of taking care of the countryside. They must do a better job because that's where I want to live or visit the day when I escape the pollution, crime, and insanity of the barren big city in which I currently reside.
Scott:d: