Uncle Andy's story time and adventure book

[LA_MERC_BS]

I noticed that we haven't heard any really screwed up stories from Andy lately. Now Andy, I know through your many travels, something bad happens to you at least once a week. Whats the latest?

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Cricket*

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Ribitt*

[LA_MERC_BS]

thats what I'm saying lol

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

LOL, YOu guys know me too well. I'm actually recovering from a very dumb manuever. I jumped my Yamaha Big Bear 400 4 wheeler off of a 15 ft table top jump. I probably maxed height around 20 feet and traveled a good 60 to 70 feet before landing. All went well, Until I landed. I think I've compressed my L4 and L5 vertebrate together by myself. Right now, LORITAB is my friend.

[LA_MERC_Spark]

damn son O.O

[LA_MERC_WBHighwind]

LOL, YOu guys know me too well. I'm actually recovering from a very dumb manuever. I jumped my Yamaha Big Bear 400 4 wheeler off of a 15 ft table top jump. I probably maxed height around 20 feet and traveled a good 60 to 70 feet before landing. All went well, Until I landed. I think I've compressed my L4 and L5 vertebrate together by myself. Right now, LORITAB is my friend.

Do Work Son.

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Dude... Obviously your lack of FPS Adrenaline has caused a serious "Rush" deficiency (a well chronicled side effect of WOW) Now you've gone an broke your 4 Wheeler and you chew Loritab like Pez.... And for what? A farking Purple Robe and matching Cone hat??? Please. A couple hours in a Cobra could have prevented this WHOLE ordeal...

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Dude... Obviously your lack of FPS Adrenaline has caused a serious "Rush" deficiency (a well chronicled side effect of WOW) Now you've gone an broke your 4 Wheeler and you chew Loritab like Pez.... And for what? A farking Purple Robe and matching Cone hat??? Please. A couple hours in a Cobra could have prevented this WHOLE ordeal...

LOL, dude, very creative :)

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

LMAO

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

LMFAO!, guess I need to mount up in a AZ-10 and relief some pressure. Ok David, I'll get some flight time and BF2 hours. But as my weekly public safety announcement let me say this.

A Yamaha 400 Big Bear 4 wheeler, 40+ mph, a 15 foot tall mound of dirt, and an idiot behind the handle bars (Me) equals a 5 second flight plan and one rough arse landing. DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME OR ANY WHERE BOYS AND GIRLS.

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

LMAO... Andy...BS knows you too well.

[LA_MERC_BS]

Oh I knew he was way too damn quiet lately, to me that says he's hiding something funny that we all need to know about. Truth be known, I bet thats not all thats happened to him lately. He just threw that one out there as a sacraficial offering to please the crowd. I mean honestly, its Andy!! I bet his neighbors have some stories to tell. Could you imagine living next to this guy? You walk outside to get the paper and see a big ole redneck on a riding mower wearing his boxers and a beer disspensing hat, probably playing the guitar and driving with his knee lol.

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

Damn Jerry. You stalking me. You nailed that one on the head. I use to think it would be cool to write a book as shiot just seems to happen to me. But I later found out that no one would believe it. So I just keep living the dream and if peeps want to hear it, I'll tell it. And yes you are correct, the flying 4 wheeler was not near the story about Uncle Andy and the 18 Wheeler. I'll elaborate. We all know about my big arse 4 wheel drive redneck truck. Well along with all the lift and now running 37 inch military hummer tires I have numerous features on the truck to add to its BA (Stands for Bad Arse) appeal. Well, here's the story. Andy has developed the opposite of an inferiority complex when driving the "Beast" (my little lovers name for my truck). I have what I refer to as a "Superiority" complex. Well this fine Tuesday morning I'm in my usual calm relaxing 100+ mph ride to work. I see that I'm coming up on a Flatbed 18 wheeler. Well i ain't gots time for that crap I start to go around, OOOPPS! Oh yeah, on coming traffic (You need to pay attention to that Andy), I'll just stop, right, WRONG. A huge BA truck may start fast, it may go fast, but even with vented and slotted high performance rotors and bimetallic pads, SHE DON'T STOP FAST, next thing I know the truck is barking up a storm as the tires bounce down the highway (Big Ballon Mud Tires act funny when you lock them up) and before I know it I'm eating bumper by the laddle fulls. SMASH!, My baby, what have I done. THE HORROR! After coming to an abrupt stop. And man do I mean abrupt. I realize I have smashed up the Hood, Front Passenger Fender, and all the grill work. Luckily no frame damage. I'm even able to drive away from teh incident. The truck driver never even felt a thing and didn't really scratch any paint off either. So $3500 and a couple of weeks and the old girl (BA Beast) is back to normal. I have more stories too Jerry. You just say the word dude and I can light up the sky with teh crap that happens to me on a daily bases.

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

only Andy....teh Beast!

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Dude... Let's see.....you're only counting the damage to your "ride" (Pimped-By-a RedNeck-Super-Truck)

Pray tell about the citation you may received from one John Q Law???? Huh? WTF? Alabama HI-PO's don't cite white-boys in Red-Neck Killing Machine's down Moblile way??? Fess-up, Bumper EATER!!!! :stick

Oh and where did you stash that three pound bag of Loritab you 'naw on all day??? in your Woofer???

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

LMFAO David...yeah we need a criminal investigation on this one...maybe that is how Jerry new he had stories. We may have an inside job here :stick

[LA_MERC_Dirge]

you f00's don't even know the HALF of what goes on with this b00n.

Ask why he smelt funny and no one would sit close to him while eating brunch at one of John besh's restaraunt before a Saints game...

He should be called horseshoe.

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

LOL, Well as for the truck incident. I didn't wait around for the law. Once the Semi driver gave me the ok nod and a good chuckle I high tailed it out of there. I don't need John Q Law to tell me how stupid I am.
And for the incident Robby is refereing to. I was running late to a Saints game and stopped at the Shell station on Slidel exit off of I-10 to get gas. While filling up the "Pimped-By-a RedNeck-Super-Truck, as David calls it) I was jousted by a Democrat on a crotch rocket. He slammed into the pump I was using and ripped the hose out of the handle off the truck and spewed gas every where. So I was drenched in gas for the game. LOL. I still can't believe that happened. The guy damn near ran me down while I was pumping gas. I feel bad now about laughing at his broken wrist but the whole thing was actually quite funny. The look in his eyes as he sped right at me. He says someone cut him off but I think the power just got away from him, LOL.
BTW, Gas is very very potent smelling even after hours of time and numerous cologne baths.

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

BTW, Gas is very very potent smelling even after hours of time and numerous cologne baths.

Yea,,,and it also leaves bad chemical burns on normal people... but then your not normal are you?

[LA_MERC_WBHighwind]

BTW, Gas is very very potent smelling even after hours of time and numerous cologne baths.

That aint no joke. Ive been covered head to toe on numerous occasions with diesel and gasoline. I had to wash my clothes several times to get the stink out...

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

Yea,,,and it also leaves bad chemical burns on normal people... but then your not normal are you?

Nope, not at all. I'm diffrent all right. And not your good cool type of different. The f'ed up wtf is that type.