LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious
August 12th, 2004, 02:10 PM
(the following message was a forwarded email to the thread starter. The thread starter is too lazy to remove all the > symbols. Deal with it)
>>
>>You know, in these dark days of the early 21st century, we are
>>faced
>>with innumerable problems. Terrorism. Wars. Crime. Gubernatorial
>>recalls. Dogs and cats living together. Pandemonium. Alabama fans.
>>But underneath all that depressing muckety-muck, there is a gold
>>lining.
>>No.... a purple and gold lining. And as we embark upon that
>>glorious
>>phase of the moon we call football season, let me just share with
>>you a
>>few things that are important to me. What I believe:
>>{Men's chorus humming "Hey Fightin' Tigers" in background...}
>>
>>I believe in Louisiana State University, my alma mater. The place
>>where
>>a boy became a man. The greatest 12 years of my life.
>>
>>I believe in LSU football. The purple and gold. The rabid fans. The
>>pageantry. The sight of the team running through the north
>>goalposts.
>>The Golden Girls. The sound of the Golden Band. The smell of
>>bourbon.
>>And occasionally vomit.
>>
>>I believe in the most beautiful place on the face of the earth.
>>Stately
>>oaks. Broad magnolias. The Quad. The parade ground. The Indian
>>Mounds.
>>The black posts.
>>
>>I believe in the history. Halloween night. The Rag. The Earthquake
>>Game.
>>62-0. The night Britney was spotted in the pressbox.
>>
>>I believe in tailgating. I mean real tailgating. Red meat cooked
>>over an
>>open flame. Cold beer. (Except for after 3:00...that's when
>>I switch to bourbon.) Pretty girls in those little camisole tops
>>that
>>they never wore when I was in school, dammit. Headlights when the
>>weather gets nippy.
>>
>>I believe that anyone who loves the Tigers has the OBLIGATION to
>>express
>>that love with outright unbridled, fanatical, blood-curdling
>>screams
>>which cause those around you to worry about your sanity. The kind
>>where
>>you have no voice left by the third quarter.
>>
>>I believe those who do not yell (meaning most of the people between
>>the
>>20's who didn't want the price of their tickets to go up) should
>>have
>>their tickets confiscated.
>>
>>I believe that Gerry Dinardo was a nice guy.
>>
>>I believe that Mike the Tiger is the baddest mascot in the land.
>>I believe that our live Bengal Tiger mascot (cared for by the LSU
>>School
>>of Veterinary Medicine) could make lunch out of that freaking steer
>>from
>>Texas in about 15 minutes, and then have that stupid looking
>>Colorado
>>buffalo for breakfast.
>>
>>I believe that any fan of an opposing team who enters our stadium
>>should
>>be treated with respect. But they should be heckled mercilessly
>>when
>>their team starts to lose. If their team does well and they heckle
>>me, I
>>believe I have the right to give them the finger, or punch their
>>dates.
>>
>>I believe that there is no finer moment in Tiger Stadium than when
>>there
>>is a fight, or people think there is a fight, and 30,000 people all
>>turn
>>in the same direction looking for said fight, and some hapless
>>Barney
>>Fife security guy walks up the stairs looking for the instigator,
>>but
>>has to walk back to his post empty-handed.
>>
>>I believe in the guy across the aisle from me, who keeps yelling at
>>people to stop touching him.
>>
>>I believe that beach balls should not be allowed in Tiger Stadium.
>>I
>>once almost fell out of the damned upper deck jumping after one of
>>those
>>things.
>>
>>I believe that tears come to my eyes when the Golden Band takes the
>>field and the drum major salutes the students.
>>
>>I believe in sultry autumn nights, pretty girls, smuggled-in
>>alcohol,
>>Chinese Bandits, Pre-Game, hot dogs, cheerleaders on top of the
>>tiger
>>cage, Two Bits, Hot Boudin, and the ghost of Sid Crocker.
>>
>>In summary, I believe in Saturday night in Death Valley
>>
>>
>>GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!
>>
>>You know, in these dark days of the early 21st century, we are
>>faced
>>with innumerable problems. Terrorism. Wars. Crime. Gubernatorial
>>recalls. Dogs and cats living together. Pandemonium. Alabama fans.
>>But underneath all that depressing muckety-muck, there is a gold
>>lining.
>>No.... a purple and gold lining. And as we embark upon that
>>glorious
>>phase of the moon we call football season, let me just share with
>>you a
>>few things that are important to me. What I believe:
>>{Men's chorus humming "Hey Fightin' Tigers" in background...}
>>
>>I believe in Louisiana State University, my alma mater. The place
>>where
>>a boy became a man. The greatest 12 years of my life.
>>
>>I believe in LSU football. The purple and gold. The rabid fans. The
>>pageantry. The sight of the team running through the north
>>goalposts.
>>The Golden Girls. The sound of the Golden Band. The smell of
>>bourbon.
>>And occasionally vomit.
>>
>>I believe in the most beautiful place on the face of the earth.
>>Stately
>>oaks. Broad magnolias. The Quad. The parade ground. The Indian
>>Mounds.
>>The black posts.
>>
>>I believe in the history. Halloween night. The Rag. The Earthquake
>>Game.
>>62-0. The night Britney was spotted in the pressbox.
>>
>>I believe in tailgating. I mean real tailgating. Red meat cooked
>>over an
>>open flame. Cold beer. (Except for after 3:00...that's when
>>I switch to bourbon.) Pretty girls in those little camisole tops
>>that
>>they never wore when I was in school, dammit. Headlights when the
>>weather gets nippy.
>>
>>I believe that anyone who loves the Tigers has the OBLIGATION to
>>express
>>that love with outright unbridled, fanatical, blood-curdling
>>screams
>>which cause those around you to worry about your sanity. The kind
>>where
>>you have no voice left by the third quarter.
>>
>>I believe those who do not yell (meaning most of the people between
>>the
>>20's who didn't want the price of their tickets to go up) should
>>have
>>their tickets confiscated.
>>
>>I believe that Gerry Dinardo was a nice guy.
>>
>>I believe that Mike the Tiger is the baddest mascot in the land.
>>I believe that our live Bengal Tiger mascot (cared for by the LSU
>>School
>>of Veterinary Medicine) could make lunch out of that freaking steer
>>from
>>Texas in about 15 minutes, and then have that stupid looking
>>Colorado
>>buffalo for breakfast.
>>
>>I believe that any fan of an opposing team who enters our stadium
>>should
>>be treated with respect. But they should be heckled mercilessly
>>when
>>their team starts to lose. If their team does well and they heckle
>>me, I
>>believe I have the right to give them the finger, or punch their
>>dates.
>>
>>I believe that there is no finer moment in Tiger Stadium than when
>>there
>>is a fight, or people think there is a fight, and 30,000 people all
>>turn
>>in the same direction looking for said fight, and some hapless
>>Barney
>>Fife security guy walks up the stairs looking for the instigator,
>>but
>>has to walk back to his post empty-handed.
>>
>>I believe in the guy across the aisle from me, who keeps yelling at
>>people to stop touching him.
>>
>>I believe that beach balls should not be allowed in Tiger Stadium.
>>I
>>once almost fell out of the damned upper deck jumping after one of
>>those
>>things.
>>
>>I believe that tears come to my eyes when the Golden Band takes the
>>field and the drum major salutes the students.
>>
>>I believe in sultry autumn nights, pretty girls, smuggled-in
>>alcohol,
>>Chinese Bandits, Pre-Game, hot dogs, cheerleaders on top of the
>>tiger
>>cage, Two Bits, Hot Boudin, and the ghost of Sid Crocker.
>>
>>In summary, I believe in Saturday night in Death Valley
>>
>>
>>GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!