LA_MERC_Sabre
July 1st, 2004, 12:41 PM
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on
a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few
half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain
rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners
were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they
had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to
move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a
new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her
the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly,
and
would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting
the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if
she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his
lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
:shootme:
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on
a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few
half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain
rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners
were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they
had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to
move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a
new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her
the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly,
and
would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting
the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if
she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his
lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
:shootme: